


That is NOT how you cook a Turkey

by sketzocase



Category: All New Wolverine, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 17:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16706806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketzocase/pseuds/sketzocase
Summary: Gabby wants to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family! Laura does her best to prepare the meal but her cooking skills are a little... less than perfect. Luckily- Daken isn't fond of food poisoning and steps in to save the day!





	That is NOT how you cook a Turkey

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Thanksgiving everyone!   
> As promised- A sniktfam fic. On time this time, too!   
> I hope you have a wonderful day with your families and eat a lot of food. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!   
> If you wouldn't mind, leave me a comment or a kudos! (If you don't mind, no pressure :) ) 
> 
> Please enjoy!

“She wants to experience a family oriented holiday season.” Laura says, standing in front of us with an ‘I’m not taking shit from you’ look on her face. “To do this- the two of you have to agree, for her sake, to get along for a few measly hours.” 

“Tell that to him,” I growl. 

The hallway is filled with the smells of cooking food from other apartments. Many different dishes, true, but the overwhelming scent is that of turkey. 

“I am,” she says flatly. “And I’m telling it to you.” 

Laura stands in a tank and jeans- not really ‘festive’ in any sense. And she more so matches Logan than anyone else. 

I look at our father, who’s also wearing jeans and a wife beater- so a tank top, who shrugs. “I’m good with it.”

“Well, I’m not,” I say crossing my arms. 

I feel overdressed and it’s making me pissy. 

When she called us over for this pointless exercise in trying my patience- I thought there would be a dress code. There always was when I was attending other people’s family get togethers. If I’d known there wasn’t going to be one, I would have dressed in jeans instead of slacks. 

“For Gabby, Daken.” Laura pleads. “Please. For Gabby.” 

“We’re not even American,” I say, zoning back in to the conversation and voicing my complaints. “Thanksgiving is not our holiday.” 

“Well, Gabby is. And she wants a holiday meal with her family. Turkey, dressing, vegetables, cranberry sauce- all of it.” 

“And… you’re going to cook all of that?” I ask in disbelief. 

Logan looks at her with a raised eyebrow. “Boy’s got a point.” he says.

“Yes. I’ve read how to prepare it on the internet.” She says, glaring at us.

Logan nods. “Then let’s get this show on the road, then. Games on in an hour..” He pushes past her into her apartment where an odd smell is coming from. 

“What is that smell?” I gag. 

“The turkey. I don’t think my microwave is sufficient enough to cook it.” 

“Micro-” I look at her in disbelief. “You’re cooking a turkey in the microwave??” 

“Yes…?” 

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “We’ll have to go get another.” 

“I have a backup turkey.” She says helpfully. 

“Good.” I walk past her into her apartment- which is decorated in hand turkeys and brown and orange paper links hanging from the walls and around the doorway.

The living room is clean- which it wasn’t last time I was over, the blue couch is pushed more against the wall to make room for a large table.

“Before you say anything- Gabby did the decorations. So be nice.” She whispers. 

“Fine.” I huff, going straight to her kitchen. 

Her white microwave is smoking and the timer is set for four hours. 

I pull the door open and take the bird out- burning my hands with melted plastic as she’s hasn’t removed it from the netting. 

“Turkeys go in the oven,” I say with my back turned to her. “Get out the spare.” 

She goes to the refrigerator and pulls out an easily 25-pound turkey. 

“I suppose you were going to nuke this one as well?” I infer. 

“I was going to try to fry it on the stove-” 

“You don’t fry a turkey on the stove.” I take the frozen bird from her and open the packaging with my wrist claws. “Do you have anything to baste it in?” I ask. 

“Baste?” 

“Take that as I ‘no’,” I mumble. “Where are your spices?” 

“Uh- here.” She goes to a cabinet and pulls out a measly array of spices. 

I observe the turkey for a minute. “We need to stuff it.” 

“I thought that came after-’ 

“No,” I say flatly. “It doesn’t. Get me a dish to cook the turkey in.” She produces one of the cheap faux metal pans that people buy in bulk around the holidays. At least she had that on hand- I guess we should count ourselves lucky. I go about preparing the Turkey in silence, spicing it as best I can, and stuffing it full. “It needs to be cooked for five hours.” I preheat the oven and stick the bird inside. “Now- vegetables,” I say. “What do you usually-” 

I’m interrupted by Jonathan running full speed into the kitchen and headbutting my shins. 

“Jonathan,” I growl. 

He makes a ‘prrp’ noise and cocks his head to the side. His head which is sporting at tiny pilgrim’s hat. 

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Gabby cries, running in after him. “I’m so glad you’re here!” 

“Anything for you,” I say, fondly at that. 

“And you’re cooking???” Gabby grins. 

I nod. “Laura would have us all poisoned.” 

“Yea… I told her the ‘how long do I cook the turkey for in the microwave’ thing was a meme. She didn’t believe me!” 

“Luckily enough, she bought a spare.” I turn back to the stove. 

“What are we having for dessert?” Gabby asks. 

“Uh..” 

“Do you have anything sweet?” I ask. 

“Some cookie dough.” She says. 

“That will suffice.” 

“Laura where’s your remote??” Logan calls from the living room. 

“It should be on top of the TV!” She calls back. 

“It’s not!” 

“Hmm. Excuse me.” She leaves us in the kitchen and goes to help our life giver watch an unhealthy amount of football (most likely). 

“Jonathan and I were going to go shopping tomorrow. Do you want to come?” 

“You’re taking Jonathan- an actual wolverine- Black Friday shopping with you??” I ask in amusement. 

“Duh! How else am I going to scare people off of my loot?” 

This child. I swear. 

She makes a good point though. Taking Jonathan with her does give her an edge. 

“Where were you thinking of going?” I ask. 

“Wal-mart?” 

“No.” I dismiss. 

“Target?” 

“Getting better.” 

“Best Buy?” 

“There you go.” I laugh. “Then you can go to target and some clothing outlets.” 

“So… you’re coming?” She asks sweetly. 

“I’ll come. But just to see people’s reactions to Jonathan.” I smirk. 

Laura comes back into the kitchen. “Did Jonathan take the remote again?” She asks. 

We all look down at him and he makes the ‘prrp’ sound again. 

“He says he didn’t,” Gabby says. 

“Gabby you don’t speak wolverine,” Laura says. “Go check his dens. See if he’s hidden it away.” 

“Aye aye Thanksgiving captain!” The girl smiles brightly and takes off- Jonathan at her heels. 

“‘Dens’?” I ask. 

“He has what Gabby call ‘hidey holes’ where he hides the things he takes. I’m told it’s a natural animal thing to do.” She nods to the stove. “How’s everything going?” 

“It’s going.” I motion to her odd array of vegetables. “Peppers are not a usual thanksgiving side,” I say. 

“Yea but Gabby loves them.” She smiles. 

“Green beans and yams are- so get over here and start washing/preparing.” 

“Yes, sir.” She comes in behind me and starts to prepare the leafy part of the meal. “Sooo… where did you learn to cook?” She asks. 

I sigh. “Romulus had me learn so I could cook his meals.” 

“Oh.” She says. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” I say, distractedly. “It’s actually one of my fondest memories.” 

“Don’t have very many of those- huh?” Logan’s voice from the doorway makes me do a full body flinch. 

“Go watch your football.” I hiss. 

“Remote is MIA.” he goes to the fridge. “Got any beer, Laura?” 

“Yes, actually.” She says. “Gabby tried to buy and of course, couldn’t because she is very underage, but she thought you’d like some.” 

He opens the door and stares for a minute. “Good kid.” He says with a smirk. “She got a lot.” 

“She didn’t know how much you drank but figured it would side on the ‘too much’ side of things.” 

“What holiday is complete without a drunk father?” I snark. 

“I got wine too, Daken,” Laura says. “It’s probably not the best wine and Gabby picked it out based on color instead of quality- but if you’d like some, we did get it for you.” 

Ah. That… is touching. 

“I’ll take a glass.” 

“What holiday is complete without a drunk older brother?” Logan asks smugly. 

“Fuck off,” I mumble moving to where I know her drink cabinet to be. “Where are your wine glasses?” 

“Top row.” She says, washing off the green beans. 

I open the cabinet and take down a cheap plastic wine glass. It’s… cute. 

Laura moves over to the side of the room and procures a bottle of dark red wine. She uses her claw to unstop it- ruining the cork. I guess I’ll be drinking the whole bottle. 

“Do you want some Laura?” I ask politely. 

“I actually do.” She says. 

I go back to the cabinet and get her second and last wine glass. 

She takes the glass and goes to the fridge to get ice. 

“Usually you don’t put ice in wine,” I say. 

She raises her eyebrow and nods, bringing the cup over to me. I pour us both some wine and raise her glass to her. “Cheers.” I take my own and down most of it. 

“Wine is usually sipped- ain’t it?” Logan leans against the wall by the doorway. 

“To get through a civil holiday with you- it is gulped,” I say, pouring myself some more. 

Laura sips hers with a smile. 

“So…” Logan says awkwardly. 

“Soooo…,” Laura repeats. 

“How’s everything been?” 

I down this cup of wine and go for another. I can’t take the awkwardness. 

“It’s been good,” Laura says. “Gabby and I work with the x-men-” 

“With Jeanie, right?” Logan asks. 

Laura nods. “She’s a wonderful leader.” 

“Ain’t she?” He smiles. 

“Other than that, we’ve mostly been here.” She motions around the apartment. 

“You and Warren stop seeing each other?” Logan asks. 

She nods. “We were… incompatible.” 

Logan makes a noise. “He hurt you?” 

She shakes her head. “He just… didn’t suit my needs.” 

He nods again. “So… any other guys I need to talk to?” He asks.   
“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about my dating men,” Laura says with a smirk. 

God, he’s dense. Everyone knows why Laura doesn’t date men anymore. EVERYONE. You think he’d at least heard rumors by now. 

“Oh, yea? Why’s that?” 

“For the love of god, Logan.” I snap. “She’s a lesbian. Keep up.” 

“Oh. OH.” He says. “Oh. My bad. Good. Good for you, Laura.” 

He’s obviously thrown. 

Laura looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I raise my glass to her. 

“So… she’s a lesbian and you’re… bi- right?” He asks. 

“You know, normally families avoid their LGBT children on holidays,” I say dryly. 

“I wouldn’t ignore you because you’re gay,” Logan says dismissively. “Who are you dating these days?” 

“Hmm… no one you would know.” I say, drinking some more. 

“Oh, yea?” 

“He’s been dating a bartender downtown,” Laura says, returning my gesture and raising her glass to me. 

“That didn’t work out,” I say crisply. “He had very opinionated views on mutants. I can’t tolerate that shit for a moment.” 

Laura frowns. “I’m sorry Daken.” 

I shrug. “We were only together for two months.” 

“Still- you really liked him.” 

“No more than I usually like my men.” 

Laura moves over and pours herself some more wine. 

“You should give Johnny a call.” She says.   
“He’s dating some movie starlet.” I dismiss. 

Not that I’m not happy for him. We’re… good friends at least. Fuck buddies more so. It’s just anytime it seems like I’m open for a relationship- which is rare- he’s dating someone else. 

“Which one?” Logan asks. 

“Who knows?” I snort, drinking more wine. 

“You like Johnny- huh?” 

I stare at him blankly. Logan holds his hands up skyward. “My bad.” 

I nod. 

Laura goes back to washing the vegetables. 

“I think those are clean enough,” I say. “Put them in a pot and spice them up.” 

“I wouldn’t let her control the spices,” Logan says with a chuckle. 

“Right. I’d forgotten her affinity for over-spicing things.” I actually smile. 

Laura grins. “I’m not that bad.” 

“Uh huh.” Logan laughs. “Sure you’re not, kid.” 

Laura shrugs. “Fine. Daken take over.” 

I graciously take over the spicing and preparing of vegetables. 

When that’s done- I put them on to cook on the stove. 

“I found it!” Gabby comes in with the remote- chewed all to hell. 

“Look at that!” Logan says happily, ruffling Gabby’s hair. “Good job, Gabby.” 

She’s beaming. 

“You guys want to go watch some TV while everything’s cooking?” Logan offers. 

Laura picks up the wine bottle and offers it to me. I let her pour me another cup before nodding. “Tv would be nice.”   
We head to the TV and watch all of Gabby’s recorded sitcoms on the DVR. ALL of them. Multiple episodes. 

Five hours pass quickly as Laura and I finish the wine bottle and move on to the second. Logan downs several more beers and everyone seems to be getting along pleasantly. 

When the Turkey is cooked and the vegetables are rewarmed, I set their dining table and call them to eat. 

“This looks great!” Gabby gushes. 

“Thanks.” I have to admit I’m smiling. 

“I want to carve it!” Gabby says before anyone can fight over that particular minefield. 

She carves up the turkey in very uneven chunks and slices with her claws. 

“Should we pray?” She asks. 

Logan, Laura, and I stare at each other before bursting out laughing. 

“What?” She asks with a grin. 

I shake my head and take a plate of turkey. “Nothing.” 

Everyone settles into their food. 

“This is nice,” Gabby says. 

“Yea, it is.” I agree. 

“Can’t wait to do it again on Christmas!” 

My smile fades slightly. “Wait, what?” 

Logan pats my shoulder. “You’re the cook of the family, son. Get used to it.” 

I glare at him before turning to my sister’s smiling faces and quietly accepting my fate. 

Maybe, with enough alcohol, we can make it through the season without bloodshed. 

We’ve in the very least got thanksgiving down, how bad could Christmas be?


End file.
